www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jnr_3NKt7Yg

Catch up from his previous posts HERE! 

What is a Mormon?

No Cindy it is not a cold fish.

No Ronald it is not an extinct hairy dinosaur elephant.

No Jonny, not a Moron, a Mormon.

So…It all started in the 1820’s when Angels appeared to a human Joseph Smith, in the manner that Angels have appeared to other humans – Abraham, Moses, Noah, Daniel, Mother Mary and her beau, Mohammed, to name a few. The Angels directed Joseph to Gold Engraved Plates buried by early day Saints (half human – half Angel), in upstate New York, who had been led to the America’s by a resurrected Christ, in early AD. Joseph dug up the Gold Engraved Plates, and translated the writing into the Book of Mormon, which forms the foundation of the Mormon religion, along with the Bible. Richard Dawkins described Joseph as a conman, fake, and a common fraud – as if only he is possessed of the real truth. For me, if you look at it logically (not as a religious person), there is less chance of the devious meanderings of broken telephone in Joseph’s word than in all the others, but I’d still like to see the Gold Plates, you know, get some cold hard evidence – all these things getting lost always – Joseph’s multi colored coat, Moses’s staff, Noah’s Boat, the Holy Grail, dare I say…Jesus’s body, and now Joseph’s Gold Engraved Plates. Sometimes to believe you might like to hear something other than:  ‘some dude who spoke to God, or God’s chosen representatives said.’ I am not saying I don’t believe Joseph – I am saying NO plates…and Joseph SMITH.

Mormon’s under Joseph Smith were polygamous, but that changed, sadly, when Ricky Baby Sanatorum’s Roman Catholic ancestors wanted to go to war with them because of it. Mormon’s are now monogamous and similar in thought to most organized religions – no gays, no abortion, no sex before marriage (or birth control, for religious rather than health reasons), no alcohol, no tobacco; Republican. Today there are about 13 million Mormons in the world. It is the Mormon’s, and East African Pirates who are currently having the most success with conversions in West Africa.

Mitt Romney is a Mormon, and proud of it – he calls it his Faith. You have to admire him, a little, for being so open; it is not the most politics friendly religion – polls show that Mormons are not as trusted by conservative Republican’s as your garden variety Bible Basher, but are more trusted than Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, and Atheists.

What I find peculiar, in this day and age, I mean 2012, is this opaque requirement that all Presidential Candidates have a not insubstantial amount of knee bending under their belt – FAITH – for want of a better illusion. Even Our Newt claims to be a born again Christian. It must annoy him, putting up that act, and knowing whom it is that he is acting for. I know it is not nice to bash a man for his Faith – Lord knows we all need a little bit more belief in something to enhance this humanities morality.

The thing for me is – it’s a human office, that of the President of the Brave New Free World – we might all be better served, by a man who didn’t have his head in the clouds…

Jack Spanish – 10/2/2012

Harry Redknapp arrived at a rather desolate and bleak White Hart Lane in 2008, the club had won nothing of significance, wait scrap that, they had won NOTHING in a decade and the fans, the sponsors and the spirits that watch over that hallowed ground were close to meltdown.

The Spurs motto is Audere est Facere ‘To Dare is to Do’ and on cue arrived a man that embodied just that in every sense.

He started his managerial career at West Ham United and saw the rise of current stars Rio Ferdinand, Frank Lampard, Michael Carrick and Joe Cole to name a few (he oversaw and promoted players from probably the most successful youth program in English football). He took them to their highest finish ever of fifth in the league and qualified for Europe (this with a team that two seasons later got relegated!)

Then he got fired. To dare is to do!

From there he moved to Portsmouth where he coached them to the League One title and promotion to the top flight at the same time his former club West Ham got relegated (Karma’s a bitch!).

Shortly thereafter, once again a small dispute with an owner and once again Harry was out on his ass! To Dare is to do!

After a shaky spell at Southampton (and a fight with owners of their appointment of Rugby World Cup winning douche Clive Woodward to the coaching staff) he was back at Portsmouth trying desperately to save them from relegation, which he did, and to put an exclamation on his return and a big middle finger to the previous owner by finishing a club record ninth. Not stopping there he took that team to FA CUP glory at Wembley in 2008 and their first silverware in two generations!

TO DARE IS TO DO!

White Hart lane was indeed dark and gloomy as Spurs sat bottom of the Premier League log 8 games into the season as the somewhat cheery, semi alcohol face of Harry arrived and proceeded to grab Spurs by the scruff of the neck and drag them up the ladder, and quickly. In the Jan transfer window he bought Robbie Keane, Defoe and Palacios (the latter two are still club stalwarts!). Spurs lost in the league cup final to My United and eventually finished the season a MUCH improved eighth!

The next season he led Spurs to their best ever finish of fourth and burst their way into the Champions League, something no Spurs fan on earth would have thought possible less than a year earlier! Not only did they qualify they made it to the quarters only to come up against Jose Mourinhos gazillionaire Real Madrid! Spurs went on to finish fifth in the Premier league behind the ‘big four’.

This season he has managed to keep Luca Modric (who the whole world seemed to want at one point in the summer), sign Scott parker, get the best out of Gareth Bale, loan Adebayor (who was crap at City and now leads the line superbly for Spurs) and sign 40 year old Brad Friedel which turned out to be a stroke of genius solving his leaky goal problem! So far Spurs sit third behind the nuvo riche blue side from Manchester and the REAL side from Manchester – UNITED!

So, why the entire preamble?

Well, Harry set out on a journey with Spurs. He set out with a crumbling club to take them to heights they had never been. Sure he’s done that already BUT I believe he’s not done yet, not by a long shot. I’m not sure I can see Spurs winning a title this season, perhaps it’s too soon to tell but with their squad now strengthened and their re-introduction to the Champions League imminent I believe they could potentially become a seriously big name on a European and perhaps global scale.

I’m sure the luster of coaching his national team must seems desperately appealing, especially since its ready for his turnaround magic BUT coaching England is perhaps the riskiest step in his career and could turn out to be the least rewarding, whereas I believe if he stays at Spurs he can build a legacy that the Spurs fans have deserved since the Linekar / Gazza era!

To dare is to do, and Harry Redknapp could not be a better example of a manager embodying a clubs motto. He is outspoken, harsh, certainly not refined but gets the best out his players both on the pitch and off and has certainly found a home in North London.

As a football fan first and then a United one I truly hope he stays to finish the journey he started a few years ago. I believe the club world would be worse off without his spirit, passion and heart (all the things I believe make me a United fan ironically) and while he certainly deserves his shot as the coach of England, I truly believe it won’t bring him the joy or satisfaction that he seems to have found playing on Europe’s biggest football stage!

About a year ago there was this product called ‘power balance’. I’m sure you remember it, you probably bought one but are too ashamed to admit it now aren’t you?

Well the story of this piece of rubber, made in China and slapped with a hologram sticker, was that it improved everything from your golf swing to your sex life.

Now seeing as both of those are relatively sublime for me (*tips hat to the people who said my last post was narcissistic*) I couldn’t understand how people didn’t realize this was the greatest con the world had ever seen!! It was a piece of rubber that friends bought, then more friends bought, people got them for xmas, gave them to bosses and bought them branded to rejuvenate corporate cultures – you ALL feel like F*@KING IDIOTS now don’t you!

You see this power balance arm band turned out to be exactly what it always was from the start – a piece of rubber made from a mold in China for 3 cents and sold for a packet.

This is kind of how I feel about the Facebook IPO.

I’ve had friends scrambling to try get their piece of the pie that will make them a fortune overnight, I’ve heard stories of Bono making more money off the initial listing than he has off music and while I know that this little website has changed the world forever I think that it’ll be the next power balance given time.

Yes, people will make FORTUNES of this (they did on PB as well), and yes it will take MUCH LONGER to implode than PB, BUT the principle is the same. You see a good marketing strat combined with public appreciation and a simple demonstration (in FBs case it’s the numbers) means that everyone jumps very quickly onto the bandwagon.

You see the FB numbers look outrageously good. Millions of photos, gazillions of likes and trillions of users which makes it as easy to sell to marketers as TIC on the Cape Flats. The truth is though if you ask any marketer what exactly the impact of their FB campaigns are they will have very little REAL idea, yeah they’ll argue it got views and clicks and likes but how many of the FB junkies actually went out and bought something, or at worst did the brand even spike on their overloaded GEN X,Y or Millennial brains? Marketers however will defend this to the absolute death for one reason and one reason alone, EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING IT and if everyone’s doing it, you don’t want to be the idiot who stands alone, instead you’d rather stand in a crowd of idiots hoping you’re all right!

At some point, someone is going to realize that the website, that by population is the third largest country in the world yet makes less money per person that a Starbucks cashier, is actually the biggest most impressive scam yet. It is nothing more than a nifty place to cyber stalk hot women, inflate your ego by pretending to have millions of friends and to tell as many people as possible when you finally emerge from the horse shit that is your life.

The IPO will go ahead and like most other fads it will be MASSIVE but do yourself a favour, don’t get caught up in the bullshit of it all, don’t praise it as a new religion and don’t worship its god Zuckerberg as if he’s anything more than a geek who got lucky. The candle which is FACEBOOK’s life is burning bright and strong but it will go out and when it does there will be a lot of people left in darkness!

Don’t be a sheep! Live, enjoy, appreciate success but never EVER follow blindly!

Yes strangely it is true, come the end of March STM (well only half of us for now) will be settling in, hopefully, HERE! The details remain to be negotiated but the move is done and dusted and ‘the relocation’ is on.

A lot of people have asked me what the hell I was thinking and I guess when you are a few G&Ts in on a weekend the response is kept short and mostly innacurate so I think its about time I told you all why, even if this post may be for my own reasoning process.

You see life is an interesting amalgamation of stages, there’s the school stage, the 16^th stage, the 18^th stage, the 21^st stage, the varsity stage, the first job stage, the engaged stage, the wedding stage and so on and so on.

What you find is ‘generally’ and I use that term loosely, groups of people will follow the trend within a time frame of a few years and so generations progress through life’s stages. Some part of that is accepting certain limitations about life, so for example in school we accept we cant drive and so our world is limited, our first job shows us we need to work rather hard to be able to buy our first car and so again we face limitations – you get the vibe of it!

As we grow so our world grows, we travel, we experience new friends, new foods, news cultures and we step out of our comfort zone in order to grow as people, but at some point that stops, well for the absolute vast majority it does. You see most people get to a point where life is ‘big enough’ for them and so they stop challenging themselves and accept the world that is now created. It can be your community, it can be your country it can be your school or your job and the truth is that’s OK, if you are one of those people who is satisfied and happy with the world you have experie nced up to a point then chances are you have found something the bulk of the world is searching for. The point of this is not to prove that I’m right in my decision but rather to explain it.

I’m different, I’m not sure if it was how I was brought up or if my environment has influenced me but I cant accept the size of my world knowing how much of it is still out there! I cannot stop exploring and learning at a stage in my life when hopefully I’m relatively green in the ways of the world. I still want to be out of my comfort zone so I can test how far I can go.

A year ago I did a course through a company called WPP (they probably own the bulk of any marketing company you’ve heard of – and a part of us) and the course is essentially for executives to spend an intensive week learning through world class facilitators. Being the youngest person there didn’t faze me as its generally the case (spose I make up for it being the loudest too often)  but I thought it a good forum to test myself seeing as these were global individuals running or helping to run massive businesses. At the beginning of the week, as is usual for this sort of thing, you put down what you want to achieve over the week.

My objective was to be evaluated on a global scale.

You see as South Africans far too often we get could up in this tiny little pond and fail to realize that if we want to measure ourselves (in an economic sense) we must go much broader. I said to my group that I was very comfortable in the world I was in at home and I wanted to know whether I could compete with the world’s best.

Now you may think this was a nice little hold hands and sing kumbaya session. The truth is we spent the next five days watching each other and tearing each other to pieces – for our own good of course! In the final session we were allowed to give overall feedback, mostly harsh because it’s supposed to push us more. I got told that I could without question compete in any of their global roles and businesses and be as successful as I wanted to be.

I’m not writing this for some kind of self-appreciation session but rather so you understand the context.

Did I allow six other individuals move me so far out of my comfort zone that writing this gives me chills just because I thought I could make more money or have more power?

HELL NO!

For all I know they could have been speaking absolute crap and just trying to appease my hangover! But they planted a seed . . .

In South Africa I’ve spent the last three years building a field force of about 3500 people, it’s probably the ceiling of what I can do here for now. While it is a commendable effort I guess I’ve been given the chance to go run a ‘startup’ of 14 000 in China and that’s just the beginning hopefully.

You see I wanted to go to the biggest market in the world with the most difficult conditions as far out of my comfort zone as I possibly could and try and prove that those six people I met a year ago were right, not only them but I want to prove it to myself.

I believe I can create something astonishing given some time, hard work and a little luck but as with so many dreams we create them over a few drinks and then they disappear as our hangover grows, this one I want to catch and I want to build it piece by piece until I can rest knowing that in this big world I can compete, succeed and along the way grow as a person, a professional and continue to learn about the world we are a tiny grain of sand in its proverbial desert.

I guess to sum it all up I described it like a break time activity in primary school.

“I’m tired of playing marbles with the young kids, I want to go play soccer with the big boys!”

If you feel like the long version – go read his previous stuff! 

If not, here he is!

So!!! Where are we in the American Elections?

The Texan Rick Perry is out. Gone too, are the Pizza Man, who realized the tactics which worked for OJ – deny, and refuse to testify, might work in a court of law (yes it does), but not in a presidential race; the Prettier Palin, who realized that the Lord Jesus…still…sadly…works in mysterious ways (thank God); J Huntsman Jnr who realized that no one, anywhere, wants a person with Jnr anywhere near his name to be ruler of the ‘free world,’ EVER AGAIN. There is a Daddy’s Boy left, mind you, not quite a Jnr but still a Daddy’s Boy, his name is Mitt, and no one really knows what that stands for. At the moment Daddy’s Boy Mitt is squaring up against Our Newt (whose not quite honest bread) for the Republican nominee. Ricky Baby (Sanitorum) and the Old White Man Ron make up the Famous Four. Our Newt (whose not quite honest bread) is the momentum front-runner fresh off the lynching in South Carolina. If you ask me it was eerie the way the Texan Rick Perry withdrew on Erev South Carolina Caucus, and handed Our Newt his endorsement and the double digit lynching which put his messy campaign back on track. I can only think that a meetin took place in the South on a Ranch, and men with full heads of hair, big buckled belts, white teeth, and large hats covering their eyes, told Our Newt that he was now their choice, the way their Daddy’s once said the same thing to Nixon. After the meeting someone from that Ranch placed a phone call directly to Rick Perry, who shook when he saw the number, because he always shook when the number called, and that man said, ‘thanks son, you’ve put up a good smile, and your hair is great, but Newt is our new choice, and that means pardner that he is your new choice.’  

Evil just threw its lot in with Our Newt, I’m not saying that Our Newt (whose not quite honest bread) is evil…I’m just saying that he is evil’s choice.

That gives Ricky Baby (Sanitorum) One, Daddy’s Boy Mitt One, Our Newt One, and the Old White Man Ron zero as they move into Florida, that little old place by the water that gave us inconvenient truth. What I think about Florida is the same that I thought about Iowa, and New Hampshire, and South Carolina – if any of the Famous Four make their way into the White House the coffin containing the last remnants of the American Dream will be nailed shut, and buried: deep.

I suppose some might ask why anyone who is not an American might be interested in the election? The answer is simple – I just can’t stop myself it – it’s like trying to ignore a car crash, a nun with a javelin through her head, or two women kissing on the train home after work. In 2012, THIS is the greatest show on earth – the American Elections makes X Factor look like a pancake, the FIFA World Cup a raison, Danny Boyles opening ceremony at the London Olympics a piece of string. It’s a jerk off the likes of which this world has never seen – and I for one am always up for a good jerk off, especially when the cock is Democracy.

Jack Spanish

27 January 2012

www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMGkebuEkkE

Cassim Kaif (Moosa), a young Muslim man who works in his father’s fabric shop in Fordsburg, Johannesburg. In the family tradition Cassim, as the only son, is expected to take over the family business from his father. Cassim is a respectful son and has certainly not considered any alternatives; this is his life and his destiny. Until one night, through a series of coincidences, he lands up doing an open mike session at a local comedy club. He discovers a hidden talent for comedy; a passion is sparked within him like nothing previously in his life. He is encouraged to carry on with the comedy, a path that brings him into conflict, not only with his father but other family members and some elements of his community. This is essentially the story of a family grappling with universal issues like, identity, responsibility and duty.

The cast features an exciting line up talent, including Riaad Moosa, Vincent Ebrahim (Kumars at No.42), Denise Newman, Joey Rasdien, Krijay Govender, Zakeeya Patel, Carishma Basday, Roysten Stoffels, Nik Rabinowitz, Osmond Ali, Afzal Khan, Rabin Harduth and Quanita Adams.

With a simple website and something long forgotten in politician school, honesty, the President went from being the most untrustworthy first citizen to someone the masses could get on board with. He essentially managed to convince a nation that had recently lost everything to, not only give him more money from their tax coffers than ever before, BUT ALSO without the widespread chaos that I expected. Fast forward to today and for the first time since the bankers destroyed the world in 08 the employment numbers are up, those bailed out are now making more money than before and it seems for now that part of the Presidents problem seems to be solving itself.

So what’s my point here? Do I think our government should be handing out money to try fix the massive social and economic decay facing this nation?

Plainly, F*@K NO I wouldn’t let them hand out food stamps – you saw what happened when they tried to hand out condoms at the ANC centenary (in other news get ready for an influx of baby JUJU’s)!

However, imagine for a moment a country that prided itself on truth, honesty and integrity.  A nation not scarred by previous regimes, a country with leaders not out to spend their time in office filling their pockets, but a democratically elected leadership who told its citizens where exactly its tax money was going.

A small smile creeps up my face as I can feel your skepticism – don’t worry we, like an abused single mother, have been hurt too many times in the past to trust again that easily.

Most people don’t really understand budgets (the country’s credit card debt numbers are evident of that) but here’s a ‘budgets for dummies’ for you.

No matter if the budget is R1000 or R100 billion – the principal is the same. At the start of the fiscal year you start out with a number and you divide it up based on the expenses, you use the previous year as a guide and the coming year as an influence and you make the best decisions you can to split the money in such a way that you will cover all bases. You then hope that your projected income is delivered and then the sums should make sense and you make some money. The theory is really rather simple – the practice however is slightly harder but you get the basic understanding.

Now imagine you as a citizen of a country could log onto the governments website and see exactly how this money was split. What healthcare was allocated VS education VS safety and security VS (most importantly government housing allowances).  I’m not talking about an auditor general’s report that comes out and has so much grey area that it may as well be London in autumn, I mean an easy to use easy to understand website. A place where ALL expenses must be channeled through and explained. Surely if there is an expense it requires some kind of explanation, and surely that explanation is not illegal or unethical then there is no harm in sharing it with the public.

You see under the cloak of governmental darkness, things can be hidden, that’s where people take chances and thats where corruption starts it cancerous life and is fed until it becomes the deadly stage 4 and a country is on life support.

As citizens who are united only by our distrust of this and every other government we need to start asking MORE or our elected officials! We have forgotten who the customer in this relationship is quite simply. You may not realize it but we pay for services that we expect to be done and when they are not, and when our money is being stolen so blatantly surely we have to be stricter on our service providers and in this case it’s the government.

At the end of the day the public, the paying public has the power. You see WE are the ones depositing billions into government funds every month to use ‘to run the country’ and if we don’t, well, at first there will be a standoff (and all the chaos that comes with that) but at some point one party will have to cave. I truly believe with the correct public leader and the right process we can change democracy in a way that will affect future governments around the world.

Imagine that, South Africa leading the fight to a transparent democracy, one where the citizens have the right to see where their money is going. Seems so simple doesn’t it!

Now as taxpayers, if you didn’t know, we have a vested interest in this report. You see you give a portion of your salary (well maybe you don’t you tax evading bitch!) to the government every month and other than knowing they use it to give to their tenderpreneur (yes it has a Wiki page!) mates for their Breitling collections, surely you want to know what the hell they do with it?

Well it turns out they fuck around with it (yes I hear you all saying ‘surprise surprise’) but, I consider myself fairly cynical when it comes to our joyful leaders in parliament, and not even I could have imagined to what degree we were being screwed.

Let me give you the number R20 BILLION!

Yes, R20 BILLION of our hard earned and paid money has been wasted. I suppose you want to know what the hell they spent it on. The list is sadly a long disgusting trail starting from just bad management of fund to fraud to tenders paid for but services never delivered!

What I find most incredible is we go on living our lives, paying our tax and not making a noise about any of it until we are drunk at a braai and we start to whine about how this country is getting raped – WELL START TO MAKE SOME FUCKING NOISE ABOUT IT THEN!

If I wasn’t moving half way across the world in the coming weeks I think I would start to create a movement, not one to over throw or fight but one that wants transparency. A movement that tries to get like-minded people to forcefully ask for honesty, openness and most of all a government that at least tells us when and how they are going to rape us. To have a system that allows citizens to see what is happening with their money similarly to that of Barack Obama’s bailout policy – probably the most successful expense of any government in recent history!

I want and I demand as a citizen to know that my tax money is being spent on things that are helping change this country for the better, not being used to fund 100^th anniversary parties, not private jets where they’re not needed and certainly not to pay tenders on jobs that are never done and the fact that South Africans don’t seem to care makes me insanely angry!

Once again I turn to the, perhaps clairvoyant, Zapiro who years ago showed our fearless leader JZ like this – who could’ve expected anything less of the government he installed than to rape the rest of its citizens !

First a small hop to Dubai on the new A380 Business Class (don’t worry we know we’ve let you down but next trip will be First I promise) but still I fear a few glasses of Champaz at the bar are necessary to kick off the holiday (yes there is an on-board bar)!

Then I think there shall be an important focus on TV, movies and perhaps the needed few hours of work!

Finally after a sleep in the hotel in Dubai and a leg to Zurich its time to hit the majestic KULM hotel . . .

For a bit of a relax . . . .

Some superb dining . . .

And most importantly to behave like absolute animals on the slopes!

Don’t worry though, I may decide to write something or other, but if I do just know that I will be lying on a deck chair overlooking the crisp white mountain with some kind of vodka concoction in hand in the middle of this!

Don’t HATE – its just not nice

So, if you’re anywhere on the Garden Route, and I really mean anywhere, I suggest you get in your car and brave the busy N2 to get to the new Mitchell’s beer garden and tasting pub on Thesen Island, for one of their eight different beers.

If you’d like to get a little closer to the brewing action, you can also visit the actual brewery for tours and tastings. On the other hand, if like us, you can’t make it there this year, visit them on their Facebook page or follow them on Twitter.

The fact is the man is a VERY good footballer and I suppose as the season went on a bit I started to hate him less for being a cheat and more because of his and Liverpool’s new found success (if you are a football fan you will understand this is a normal and very acceptable hatred of other teams players)

Then one fine winters day Suarez came to Manchester and without question racially abused Patrice Evra (a guy who at his worst is a tough no nonsense footballer) over and over again – the cheating hatred began to come back. Over the coming days video evidence proved the abuse and Suarez was given an eight match ban!

In support his fellow players decided to warm up in Suarez shirts I support of this now proven Nazi! (even King Kenny who I’ve downgraded to a Nazi SS footsoldier)

What I cannot understand is why and how firstly this kind of racism is allowed in football, this coming from me, who wrote an article in ‘defense’ of Sepp Blatters so called racist remarks, and secondly how teammates of this idiot can come out in support of someone who was PROVEN guilty!

Liverpool has been an amazing club for me over the years. It’s had the same tradition, passion, heart and players that I’ve grown to love about the English Premier Leagues great old clubs and this event and more importantly the way the team and club handled it has really put them into a new realm of darkness for me. I understand supporting your players no matter what, but, there really are better ways of handling a situation like this!

Suarez is and always has lived on the edge of the law with football and for top flight players I guess that’s sadly become the norm but to be a proven racist should really mean he now must become a pariah (Darren Scott must have his hands in the air somewhere asking how come he was so vehemently outcast)

We want the answer to a question, we GOOGLE it. We have an argument about movies and we IMDB it – we want things NOW! Simple as that.

So when it comes to your teeth you generally skimp on them because lets be fair, you have no idea what they look like, what damage you are doing and really in six months the dentist will fix any of the shit anyway!

So for mine and the disastrous millennial generations here is the solution – this things transmits images from the brush to your mirror so you can see where you need to hit, how long you need to brush and basically how disgusting you’re teeth are!

Maybe that’s being a little excessive but tell me when you see this concept ad from Korea you don’t get that same tingling you used to get when you first saw Pam Anderson naked!

Now I’m a rather large tablet junkie, I think I currently own 5 of them in various shapes, sizes and brands. The reason is because I can’t wait for the world of tech to become as mobile as a cellphone but as interactive as a laptop – hence the tab crush.

But as sexy as tablets are, they are still inefficient, clunky to a degree and don’t seem to be quite the future I was hoping for, and then I saw this. These clever boys and girls at Samsung have given us just a taste of the brilliance they are planning to unleash on us all. I just hope that this doesn’t turn out like the classic concept car scenario, you see this magnificent concept car at a motor show and a year later a generic piece of design feces pops out of a factory somewhere!

Somehow with Samsung driving this I doubt that’ll happen – take a look!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4AhTiQkWwk

Last year the title of the article I wrote on Google’s annual Zeitgeist was ‘the only review that matters’ (if you haven’t seen last one – SLAP YOURSELF CAUSE YOU’RE AND IDIOT – then go watch it – it literally reduced me to tears when South Africa answered the phone) I’m pretty sure this year I won’t feel any differently when every auditory sense of mine is bombarded with best this and that crap of the year, over and over and over until finally the clock ticks over to 2012!

These guys at Google make my entire body tingle most of the year and when they combine all that has happened on our little blue planet in 2011. A video that, for the cynical *slowly raises hand* is a marketing campaign for all of their products but when you have a bouquet of produ8cts like they do its like watching a Victoria Secret show (not quite as fun but you get the picture).

If you live on this planet, best you sit down for the three odd minutes that this will take (Six minutes if you are completely useless and need to catch-up 2010 as well) and absorb how many lives were lost, families destroyed and saved, t3ears were cried and smiles were smiled. How many heroes and villains we lost in the fight and how nature continued to fight us back at each turn.

If you are a part of this world then just sit down and watch!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAIEamakLoY